If You’re Paying, You’re the Customer
Alright, sugar, let’s talk—because some of y’all are out here getting played, finessed, and straight-up scammed in the name of “love.” I don’t care how sweet their messages are, how good they look in that profile picture, or how many times they call you “baby” in a day—if they are asking for money, you are not in a relationship. You are in a transaction. And guess what? You’re the one footing the damn bill.
I’ve seen it too many times. Someone slides into your DMs, lays on the charm, talks about how “different” you are, how they’ve never met someone like you before. A few weeks of sweet talk and suddenly—boom!—they’ve got a problem only your bank account can solve. Their rent is due. Their car broke down. They just need a little help until payday. Maybe they’re “stuck in another country” and just need a plane ticket to finally come see you.
Baby, wake up. This is not 1952—nobody needs an “agent” to let them get on a damn plane. If they really wanted to come see you, they would’ve already booked the flight, showed up, and met you in person—no Cash App request required. If someone needs a financial transaction before they can “love” you, they do not love you. They love your money.
And don’t try to tell me, “But Aeson, they said they just need a little help right now.” Because let me ask you this—when has it ever been just a little? First, it’s “just this one time,” then it’s “just until I get back on my feet,” then suddenly, you’re three months in and you’ve turned into a personal ATM. Every time their phone rings, they’ve got a new financial crisis. And guess who’s supposed to fix it?
If someone is always short on rent, gas, or food but always has time to sit around texting you? They don’t need a relationship—they need a job. And if you’re the one covering their lifestyle, you are not their partner—you are their sponsor.
Now, let’s talk about the ones who think dating is a full-time financial opportunity. You take them out, you pick up the tab, you handle every bill, and they sit back looking cute while putting in absolutely no effort. And somehow, they never reach for their own wallet. They never say, “I got this one.” They just sit there, all comfortable, like you’re some damn concierge service. If they wanted a free meal, they should’ve gone to a soup kitchen.
Generosity is a beautiful thing, and there’s nothing wrong with treating your partner. But if you’re the only one doing the treating, the planning, the spending—what exactly are you getting in return? Because last time I checked, love is about partnership, not payroll.
The right person will never make you question if they’re here for you or for what you can provide. The right person will never have you feeling like a walking bank account instead of a loved one. And the second you stop giving? They won’t go running for the hills like their love was tied to a direct deposit.
If you want to know whether someone is really there for you, stop opening your wallet and see what happens. If their energy shifts, if they suddenly “get busy,” if they start acting distant because you’re no longer funding their lifestyle—baby, you just found your answer.
And listen, I love you, but let’s be real—some of y’all are so scared to be alone that you’re paying people to stay. You are out here funding relationships that don’t even exist, hoping that if you just give enough, they’ll love you back. But sugar, love isn’t for sale. And if someone is treating it like it is, then you don’t have a partner—you have a damn bill.
Now, check your bank statements, check your self-worth, and if someone is treating you like a damn ATM? It’s time to change the PIN, block them, and let them scam somebody else. 💋